| Her: | So I have been getting into porn lately lol |
| Her: | I need recommendations |
| Her: | I am new to this...always used my imagination up until now |
| Her: | But this whole new world has been unveiled and it's wonderful |
| Me: | Wow. You just ruined Aladdin for me |
I feel like all the food websites are kind of snooty and I would love to have one for regular people where they speak my language. Or I guess just swear a lot. So, enjoy. Also, this really is a great fucking recipe. Original here, you can see my changes below.
So I got a baller original recipe online and decided to spruce it the fuck up a bit.
Fuckin’ Maple and Sugar Glazed Salmon shit yeah
2 salmon filets, salted and pepper…ed - bake in oven at 425 degrees for 10 minutes, mothafuckah.
GLAZE OH MY FUCKING GOD THE GLAZE so fucking delicious
1 tablespoons soy sauce reduced sodium if you know what’s good for you, cocksucker
3 tablespoons brown sugaaaa. That candy got me sprung, baby.
1 tablespoon maple syrup shit yeah drink that tree sap
4 teaspoons excuse me do you have any fucking GREY POUPON???
1 teaspoon rice wine vinegar - bro, check this out, I used black currant vinegar and it was hella tasty shit yeah
1/8 teaspoon white truffle oil nectar of the fuckin gods i tell you
Dash of cinnamon, splash of rum (dark or amber, bitches) and a splash of apple brandy MMM
COMBINE these mothafuckahs together and boil in a saucepan. Cut up half a fresh-as-Will Smith peach and add to the glaze once it is good and hot. When the salmon is done cooking, glaze those bitches all over and stick back in your oven for another 2 minutes, hellz yeah.
TAKE IT OUT AND ENJOY
remember, eat your veggies, kids. PEACE OUT
My one most often recurring nightmare consists of me, in college, realizing towards the end of the semester that, either out of laziness or having simply forgotten, I am still enrolled in a Calculus class for which there is a final fast approaching. My grade in this class is already shit because I have not attended any of the lectures and obviously this is compounded by my not having learned anything about calculus from missing said lectures. The weird thing was that while this dream definitely happens while I am at Vassar, the professor for the course was my high school Calculus teacher, Ms. Ramsay. Who, for the record, is a lovely human being and I can’t imagine why my brain would have her appear in a nightmare such as this.
I suppose as nightmares goes this is pretty mild. It’s kind of odd that it seems to recur far more often than any other nightmare.
I invented a new kind of Scrabble last night. You can play any word you like, as long as you can provide a plausible definition for the word you have played. The following words were used last night and are good examples:
Vikation - when Vikings travel for pleasure
Jewite - the mineral form of a Jew
Humwipe - Cleaning and singing at the same time
Wombutt - the posterior of a marsupial
It’s just far more entertaining this way. Also we realized the bag of letters we were playing with was actually two bags combined and we both had way too many of the letter I. And it was annoying. 5 at once? C’mon.
I am supposed to be relaxing at a B&B in the Virginia countryside right now. I am, however, still in shitty fucking New York City. It is someone at JetBlue’s fault.
I had a 4:30pm flight from JFK to Dulles. The plane was delayed in getting there due to weather. Whatever, that happens all the time. We were delayed getting out because that weather hit New York before we could take off. This caused a backup on the runway. Since JetBlue has to pay an FAA fine for keeping passengers on a plane on the runway for more than three hours, they brought us back to the terminal at 8:30pm.
At this point I am understandably upset. I was supposed to get into Dulles at 6pm, and at the hotel with my family after a 75-90 minute drive. I am not there yet, and I’m not sure when I will be.
At approximately 9:00pm someone announced to everyone at the gate that the flight had been canceled, and to stand in line at customer service to make other arrangements.
I get in the line. It is LONG. There are people from other flights there fixing their issues, as the thunderstorm has obviously affect other people’s travel plans. I am probably 100-150 people deep in the line. I call my brother, who is supposed to pick me up from the airport, to let him know. I talk to my parents; they tell me, and I agree, that standing in that line is probably unnecessary as I can make arrangements over the phone. I walk away from the gate area and proceed to call JetBlue as I head back to the subway home.
Apparently after I left, JetBlue decided to put the flight back on. I don’t know under what circumstances that it is an acceptable practice to tell customers a flight is canceled unless it is absolute certain to be canceled, but it can’t have been that certain as my Google search of JetBlue1307 indicates it left JFK at 9:43pm. This is easily the most irritating thing to happen to me in many years of flying.
So now I am boarding an Amtrak at 5:45 tomorrow morning to Washington, DC. I am guessing it will probably crash.
After I finished typing this, the customer service rep at JetBlue came back and informed me they would give me a full refund for that leg of the trip. I am guessing it was because I told her I was controlling myself but truly I was “livid beyond what my voice is portraying.” Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a customer service rep more than a pissed off customer.
The video in that last post makes my new mic sound terrible. It does not. I left my air conditioner on, which is noisy as hell, and it did a decent job isolating what I actually wanted you to hear. For some reason during the uploading process Tumblr seems to have ruined the audio/video sync. Not sure what’s up with that.
I just got a real microphone for my computer because let’s face it, built-in mics suck even on Macs. So here’s a test recording of me playing my rather unimpressive rendition of the One Note Samba I posted on here earlier. I didn’t play the whole thing because I did not want to embarrass myself.
Marvel Studio’s Concept Art For Joss Whedon’s ‘The Avengers’
Even though Marvel decided to not have an ‘Avengers’ panel at SDCC 2011 this year, they did reveal a massive concept art poster for the film featuring The Avengers team roster.
‘The Avengers’ is directed by Joss Whedon and stars Chris Evans (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), Mark Ruffalo (Hulk), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Scarlet Johansson (Black Widow), Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson), Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury) and Cobie Smulders (Maria Hill).‘The Avengers’ opens May 4th, 2012.
Ok, I honestly really love all these posters. Still don’t quite get why Hawkeye doesn’t have a movie though.
Also didn’t know Cobie Smulders was in this, very happy bout that.
I’d heard Ms. Smulders was going to be in it. And my life has been infinitely better since finding out.
At the Walt Disney Concert Hall
